I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I party with great urgency now.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
