why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
