dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize