she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
