I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
