i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When did angry sex become our thing?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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