no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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