we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My cat gives me a boner
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
