I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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