you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
