I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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