Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
