do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
