Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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