We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
