i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My vagina just clenched in fear
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
