fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
