your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
