There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
