I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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