Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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