Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
