I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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