Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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