My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
God, I missed his penis.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
