Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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