Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You're like the curious george of whores
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
