I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
