I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dignity is for republicans.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
