Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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