Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I didn't shave. On purpose
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
