Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize