HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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