Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
