he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sext me about skeletons
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
