I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
