No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
