apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We are all done wearing pants today
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I think I just sharted jello shots
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