so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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