He is an equal opportunity slut.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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