he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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