she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
