I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
