i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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