dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize