Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize