so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize