Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
