i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
