i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
