ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
