i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
