i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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