I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
