I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
