Can Purell be used as lube?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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