if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
