The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
