PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
