I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
