Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
